I am now in charge of Bartertown. Prepare the Thunderdome for these seven pairs of gladiators:
1) The Property Brothers
They seem nice enough but do we need two of them? New this fall on HGTV: The Property Person.
2) Mark Zuckerberg and Mark Cuban
Every billionaire must go into my Thunderdome eventually so start with these guys, why not. Each is allowed one Shark Tank product as a weapon.
3) Elon Musk and the back-flipping robot
If Musk already secretly has an Iron Man suit, he may wear it, but he has to get there on the bus.
4) Rand Paul and Paul Ryan
I am tired of getting them momentarily confused in news stories. Also they are both terrible! Into the dome.
5) Chuck Grassley and a representative from the family of the deer he left for dead
Thunderdome is a good place for you know what.
6) Niles Crane and Frasier Crane
The characters, not the actors. This one might get messy. Scrambled eggs all over the place.
7) Donald Trump’s large adult sons
Whatever their names are. I mean I know but I try not to consciously know, you know?
*** Originally published as List No. 39 of the 7x77 newsletter project.