🚨 READ AT YOUR OWN RISK – DEADLY EARWORMS AHEAD 🚨
An anechoic chamber, like the Orfield Labs Quiet Chamber south of me in Minneapolis, is a room that kills almost all echoes, making it completely, crazy-making quiet. If you put me in one of those rooms with a microphone, you’d hear the strangest thing: a quiet cacophony not unlike a detuned radio blending several signals together at once. This radio is my brain, and these songs are the signals leaking through the static.
Deeper even than earworms, here are seven songs that never leave my goddamn head:
1) Back in Black – AC/DC
This is the WORST. If Eternal Sunshine-esque mindwipe technology existed I would use it to blast every encounter I’ve ever had with this song. GO. AWAY.
2) Chelsea Daggers – The Fratellis
Dah, da da da, da da da, da da da da da duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duhhhhhhh…
3) George’s Answering Machine Song
I miss answering machines, in general. I mean I guess I could still get one but I don’t want to be the answering machine hipster.
4) Yellow Submarine – The Beatles
This is at the top of a lot of earworm lists I could find online, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
5) The Imperial March
Bup, budabuda bup bup, budabuda DUM DUM DUM DUM DA DUM, DUM DA DUM, buh wee oop, buh wee oop, buh budda bup, bup ba, bup budda bup, bup bah, bup ba bah…
6) Safety Dance – Men Without Hats
I do this to myself. This song was a thing among my group of high school friends, and I’ve always liked it. If I’m having a really groggy morning (this morning, for example) I yell into my empty apartment “COMPUTER, PLAY SAFETY DANCE” and then Alexa plays it for me and I wiggle-dance in bed a little to wake up. I love technology.
7) Under Pressure – Queen and David Bowie
You know, this is fine. If I could replace all the rest with this I’d be good to go.
*** Originally published as List No. 52 of the 7x77 newsletter project.