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No. 49 | Seven games I play in my head

If I’ve got time to walk, I will. Sometimes I think serious thoughts on these walks: solving problems, exploring ideas, organizing my thinking for an upcoming conversation. But most of the time? I’m playing silly games in my head.

1) Move like Spider-Man

I imagine how I’d move through a space if I were Spider-Man. Especially the way he shoots a web and then uses his strength to slingshot himself forward. It causes me to notice lots of fixtures and shapes I might not have otherwise noticed. Sometimes I’ll substitute Indiana Jones and his whip, which of course requires that I sing the Indiana Jones theme to myself. (The lyrics to which, by the way, are “Indiana! Indi-an-a Jones!”)

2) Add a Butt

A game best deployed tactically if I notice I’m in a bit of a sour mood (or need to cheer up a friend). You play it like this:

  1. Find a sign with words, such as a road sign or an advertising slogan on a billboard.
  2. Find the funniest place to add the word “butt” to that sign.
  3. Have a little chuckle.

The plural “butts” is allowed, as well as minor punctuation changes.

Examples:

  • STOP > BUTT STOP
  • Eat at White Castle > Eat Butt at White Castle
  • Pump Your Own Gas > Pump Your Own Butt Gas

3) If the Bombs Dropped Now

This is practical, if a bit paranoid. I imagine how I’d fare if some sort of world-ending scenario started right that moment. Could I run in these shoes? Could I spend a night outside in these clothes? Could I fight aliens with my 8th grade Tae Kwon Do skills in these pants? Could I find my way home or to safety without Google Maps? How would I get from here to my family in Arizona? Do I have anything on me to eat? What’s the nearest source of food? How would I get that vending machine open? Could I start a fire with anything nearby? What would I grab as a weapon?

In my mostly routine urban life in a major U.S. city, this feels like scripting my own post-apocalyptic movie, but it’s related to a fundamental wilderness survival skill. Experts recommend pausing frequently and asking yourself: “What’s the next thing that could kill me?”

4) Something New

I learned this from following Max Temkin, and seem to recall that he learned it from a friend, but I can’t find the post about it. (Maybe it was on a podcast?)

It’s a simple game you play when you’re somewhere you’ve already been: notice something new. Great for walks to the grocery store, the commute to work, a familiar bus ride. Look at everything top-to-bottom and try to notice Something New, like an architectural detail you’d previously missed or a sign that must have been there all along but you’d never actually read.

5) Worst Outfit

A good one when when you’re in line somewhere or waiting around at an airport. The idea is to imagine the worst outfit you could put together out of what people around you are wearing. (It usually involves camouflage.)

6) Counting

I sometimes find that I’ve been counting as I walk (steps, maybe?). I’m often up to 70 or 80 by the time I notice but it’s gotten into the upper hundreds before. Probably some sort of brain problem!

7) That Stupid Thing I Said

This is a fun one where the goal is to suddenly remember and then obsess over something stupid or unkind you said once, often decades ago! Wait no that’s not fun, these are getting darker better stop now.

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Originally published as List No. 49 of the 7x77 newsletter project.

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